If this is your first visit, please see my introduction to these Lenten readings.
10 March. Ecclesiasticus chapters 5-7
Among these chapters of proverbs, I wish to pick out the short passage (6:5-17) that deals with friendship.
Our local Member of Parliament, Rachel Reeves, is currently promoting a campaign to recognise the dangers of loneliness, which she describes as “toxic to health and devastating to communities”. She recommends that we connect more with the people around us – chat to fellow travellers on public transport, colleagues at work, shop workers and so on. That is the basis of a secure society where people feel included – “a kindly turn of speech multiplies a man’s friends” (Ecclus. 6:5).
But the author of Ecclesiasticus realises that not every acquaintance deserves the name of friend. He warns against three sorts of so-called friend: those who “are friends only when it suits them”, those who “fall out with you and make your quarrel public”, and those who “share your table but do not stand by you in the day of trouble”. A faithful friend, on the other hand, is described as “a sure shelter … beyond price … the elixir of life”.
The best friendships – often those made early in our adult life, or sometimes even sooner, and which last for decades – are founded on mutual respect (which includes respecting each other’s differences as well as shared interests), empathy and a willingness to get involved when our friend is in trouble. The Biblical writer describes these as “one in a thousand” which sounds about right – we probably get to know a thousand people reasonably well in the course of a lifetime, but may only have a couple of really good friends. Treasure them.